— Truth's most intelligent quote in this chapter


Truth: What do you call it when a hand falls from the sky?

Human: I don't know, what?

Truth: The Fall of Reach! HAHAHAHOHEEHOHAHEEHOOHAHAHEEHOHACOUGHWEEZEHAGHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Human: Hey! That joke is offensive, many of my people died in that! >:[ (walks away and cries)

Truth: Fucking emo...

Truth: Yo momma's so ugly, even a Jackal wouldn't wanna screw dat bitch!

Jackal: FUCK YOU TRUTH!!!!!!!!

Truth is shot by an overcharged Plasma Pistol 1,000 times, gets blown up by Needler and Needle Rifle shards 88 times and is shot by the Focus Rifle and Beam Rifle 90 times.

Truth: What do you call a very gangster Elite.

Brute: Uh, I dunno, J'Suz Kusov?

Truth: Close! But no, a "'Homee 'Gee". LMFAO!

Brute: *facepalm*

Truth: What do you call it when a Unggoy breastfeads?

Hunter: *Quaking growl* (Translated: Just tell me the answer...)

Truth: Food Nipple ROFLCOPTER!!11

Hunter: *Quaking growl* (Translated: Wow, thats actually pretty funny)

Truth: Wow, really? :)

Hunter: *Quaking growl* (Translated: No)

Truth: He dares to talk shit! EXECUTE HIM!!!

Truth: Knock knock

Noble Six: *sigh* Who's there?

Truth: Glass

Noble Six: Glass who? Hold on wait a minute...*looks up in the sky and sees a huge covenant ship with a glassing beam right above him* Oh shi...*gets glassed*

Truth: LULZ!

Elite: That was actually funny, your royal hineyness. OOPS I mean highness!

Truth: You dare mock me!? EXECUTE HIM!!!!!!

Truth: Hey Tartar Sauce, what do you call an alien track team made up of four people?

Tartarus: I don't know, holy one, please tell me the answer.


Tartarus: Um, ok...

Truth: Execute him...

Truth: Hey Carter, what's your pet's name?

Carter: I don't have a pet.

Truth: NOO!! Your pet's name is Cat (Kat), get it?! LULZ!

Kat: Oh fuck you Truth!

Kat uses her cyborg arm to rip through Truth's squishy head, she pulls out his brain and eats it, then shits it into Truths lungs and Truth dies from suffocation.

Truth: What do you c-

Chris Hansen: I can't control my horny level.

Truth: ...O.o

Truth: What did the Grunt say to the...

Kanye West: Yo Truth, I'm really happy for you and I'mma letchu finish, but Carlos Mencia is one of the best mediocre comedians of all time! OF ALL TIME!!!

Truth: He dares to interrupt me, EXECUTE HIM!!

Kanye West: Yo why you executing me bro?! Is it 'cause I'm black?!

Truth: No, it's cause I'm a doucheb-

Kanye West: Yo Truth, I'm really happy for you and I'mma letchu finish, but I'M the biggest douchebag of all time!

Truth: ...

Truth: Yo momma so fat, she makes Brutes look skinny!

Brute Chieftain: Hahahaha...wait a minute, I'M a Brute!

Truth: Oh shit...

Truth is shot with the Spiker and Mauler 800,000 times, blown up with Spike Grenades 100,000 times, burned with Firebomb Grenades 50,000 times, and crushed with the Gravity Hammer 10,000 times.

Truth: What do you call a stoner Brute?

Grunt: *Sigh* I don't know...


Grunt: You know it's lame jokes like these that made the Elites rebel, so I'd shut the fuck up if I were you.

Truth: It dares to insult me! Execute it!!

Grunt: Um, I'm a girl dumbass.

Truth: Oh...I couldn't tell...EXECUTE HER!!!

Truth: What would you call steakhouse owned by Master Chief?

Marine: I don't know.

Truth: Master Beef! Lulz!

Marine: Idiot...

Truth: Execute him!

Marine: Oh yeah?! Execute THIS! *pulls out Rocket Launcher*

Truth: Oh shit...

You know what happens next...

Truth: What did the Jackal say to the store clerk?

Regret: I dunno, what'd he say?

Truth: "Put it on my bill." LMFAO!

Regret: Hahahaha! That's hilarious! I'm quite the comedian myself, you wanna hear a joke I made?

Truth: Sure.

Regret: Ok, what do you call a Brute toy store?

Truth: Don't know, what?

Regret: ToysRUs, get it? hahaheehooheehaahahahooheehaheehoohahahahoocoughweezehagchoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truth: Ha, Ha... *inserts pistol in his mouth*

Xzibit: Yo dawg, I heard you like corny jokes...

Truth: What do you call a Noob that got mutated into a Dinosaur?

Random Person: I don't know, what?

Truth: A Noobasauras Rex! LULZ!

Random Person: Oh god...

Truth: Why did the Peli-

Jessi Slaughter: Your jokes ruined my life!!!

Truth: Ok, where are all these Internet memes coming from? I mean first Chris Hansen, then Kanye, then Xzibit, and now Jessi Slaughter?

Random Brute: Um, your book was made on the Internet by Gruntipedians my lord. It's possible that they are using characters from the Internet to be funny, holy one.

Truth: Haha...wait a minute, I'M the one that's supposed to make people laugh! EXECUTE GRUNTIPEDIA!!!

Pope Yapyap III: Oh yeah? Take THIS!

Pope Yapyap III blows up everything with his Kamehameha attack and his Gruntiness, Truth is finally dead, the Covenant is destroyed and Gruntipedia is victorious.

All of Gruntipedia: FUCK YES!!!!!!!!

All Gruntipedians throw a party at Pope Yapyap III's house.

This book ends right here...

Right after the commercial break.....

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