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Jokes Edit

Truth: How many Forerunners does it take to screw a light bulb?

Elite: They do not need to, sir. They are Gods.

Truth: ...who told you the answer!?

Begins changing of the guard...


Truth: How many noobs does it take to find a recon?

Arbiter: ...what!?


Truth: Why is the Halo round?

Arbiter: Please don't it be lame...

Truth: Because the Forerunners didn't know what a square was!! haha!

Arbiter: Lame...


Truth: How many stupid smelly elites does it take to eat a hamburger?

Arbiter: We can't eat solid foods.

Truth: Exactly! HAHAHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAH!

Arbiter: I fucking hate you.

Pulls out a Plasma Rifle and shoots Truth's nut-chins off


Truth: How many grunts does it take to kill Master Chief?

Brute: I don't know...117?

Truth: NONE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Arbiter: Were it so easy...


Truth: Why did Banshee cross the road?

Grunt: Don't Banshees fly?

Truth: ...

Grunt: What?

Truth: Execute him as well.


Truth: Where is a Grunts weak spot?

Grunt: Um... I really don't know.

Truth: Everywhere! Bwahehihohwahaha!!

The Grunt charges up his power and punches Truth's dick chin so hard that it became an effective birth control product, then, the Grunt picked up a chainsaw dildo and started ramming it around Truth's body, proving that a Prophet's weak spot is everywhere


Brute: What happened to the last Human that saw a Brute?

Truth: First answer my joke.

Brute: Okay...

Truth: What happened to the last alien that tried to tell a joke?

Brute: What?

Truth: This...!

Rams into the gorilla-monster with his high-tech power-chair, pulls out a Fuel Rod gun and blows him to bits


Truth: Who farted?

Brute: I didn't!

Truth: Yes you did! Bwahehehihohaha

Bluetank55555 No,that was me. (all life ends)


Truth: What sign is always put up in front of a Brute's jail cell?

Arbiter: I'm gonna regret this... What?

Truth: Don't feed the animals!

Arbiter: Wow, that was actually funny!

Truth: Really?

Arbiter: No, it was racist.


Truth: Whats the difference between Brutes and the UNSC forces?

Marine: Ummm... we don't babble random stuff at close range?

Truth: No! Your "Gorilla Tactics" suck!!

Marine: >:( I'd shoot you if you weren't hiding behind that hologram thing!!


Truth: How are Marines and Zombies alike?

Marine: Uh... we both... have human body structure?

Truth: No... You both don't use your brain! AHEHOHAHAHAAA!!!

Marine: Wow. Is that the best you got?

Truth: No. Keep reading the following jokes!!


Truth: Why do Elites buy millions of straws?

Elite: Because we can't drink without them.

Truth: HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Elite: One word for you: Abygybowoboowahwah.

Truth: O_o


Truth: In Soviet Russia, jokes tell YOU!

Russian Marine: No!!! In soviet Russia Jokes PWN you!!!

Truth: Probably. I have no clue what Soviet Russia is anyways...


Truth: What do you call a Prophet that drinks Budweiser?

Marine:  I dunno, a drunk Prophet?

Truth: No! A Prophet that drinks Budweiser is called a Prophet that Budweiser! HAHAHAHHEJOHUKOPOOPOOJUPAHAHA!!!!

MC: Dude... that's lame. Your jokes are lame. That book your writing? It's lame!

Truth: So?

MC: Stop telling jokes, k? Cuz yours are lame...lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit

Truth: Knock knock.

Arby: Who the fuck's there?

Truth: Hockey.

Arby: Hockey who?

Truth: That's it, just hockey.

MC: You're fucking lame.


Truth: Hey Mr.Failo.

Arbiter: Stop callin me that. What is it?

Truth: What did the 3 fingers say to teh face?!

Arbiter: What?

Truth: SLAAAP!

Truth slaps Arbiter across the face

Arbiter: Awww what the hell.DIE!!!!!!!!

Truth gets ran over by the Pillar Of Autumn.


Truth: Knock knock.

Tartar Sauce: huff who's there?

Truth: Shorty.

Tartar Sauce: Shorty who?

Truth: Shorty you lost your damn mind.

Tartar Sauce: Oh that's it! The only way these horrible jokes will end is if you end. I'm gonna go kill Arbiter, start a war with the Elites, and destroy the Covenant!

Walks off

Truth: Well go ahead then, I don't give a damn!

Tartar Sauce: I'm going to.

Truth: Fine do it. But you should know that King Kong ain't got shit on me

2 days later,Truth gets stabbed by Arbiter's death stick.

Truth: Aghhh!


Truth: How many hits does it takes to kill me?

Arbiter: Let's find out.

106th Battalion: Hell yeah!

Master Chief: Awesome!!!

Marine: WAIT I want to kill him too!

Tatar Sauce: Me too!

Cortana: Me too!

All Brutes,Grunts,Elites,Jackals,Hunters,Engineers,Sentinels,Gravemind, Flood,and 343 Guilty Spark: Us too!!!

*Truth gets stabbed 100,000 times, run over with every halo vehicle1,000,000 times, crushed with 50 Tanks, have 500 HEVs dropped on him at full speed,and shot 100,000,000,000,000 times by every weapon of the Halo universe*

Truth: Ha Ha I'm still alive... oops.

Scarab comes in, and buries truth.

Everyone who were forced to hear Truth's jokes: HURRAY!!!!

3 days later

Truth wakes up and finds himself buried alive, he glasses his way out to find that he is still on the ark but does not know why there are explosions everywhere.

Truth: Well at least I am still alive, now time to start my reign of terror all over again!

Everyone who was forced to hear Truth's jokes: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truth clears his throat.

Truth: How many gru-

The ark blows up.

Arbiter: Try waking up from that!

Everyone who was forced to hear Truth's jokes: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 weeks later

Truth wakes up finding himself floaing in space and floats around before hijjacking a covenant space ship and stealing their intergalactic super megaphone and calls out:

Truth: How many gru-

Truth is shot by a million mac cannons and is disintergrated into dust and is packed anto a container and put into the core of the earth forever.

Truth clears his throat.*

Grunt: Why wont you fucking die!!!!!!????

*Throws100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 grenades on Truth and shoots himself in the head.*

*Truth finally dies and goes to hell to bang Satan's mother and flood the place with his urine*


Truth: Why doesn't the Chief ever show his dick?

Random Elite: Uhh...that's a little gay but why?

Truth: Because he got it eaten off by a Jackhole. ROFLMAO hah hah hah gurgle

1337 Chief: No. Tahtz not wat teh anzerz iz. U just kant c it cuz ur sisterz iz in da wayz.

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