- In Soviet Russia, gravity lifts YOU!
- — Soviet Grunt
- The magical blue light of escape!
- — Grunt on Gravity lift
A Gravity Lift is the most recent innovation of Grunty Forerunner technology.
The Gravity lift is a worthless piece of
crap equipment. Try sniping while riding a Gravity Lift- you're a sitting duck, they're not. Gravity Lifts were made by some guy who was on ice, because there is no way a sane person would be dumb enough to make something that gets you nowhere. It would be useful as a trap, make it lead to deep water or something like that...
As explained above, this equipment is complete failure. Along with the fact that it denies the laws of physics (which can be eaten) and its freaking blue, the gravity lift is one of the most controversial equipment out there. Gravity isn't blue, if it was, then what the heck is a plasma grenade? Along with that, the Gravity lift has been known to offer absolutely NO protection from vehicles. According to Halopedia "It has the power to lift vehicles, such as the Mongoose, and other objects besides players into the air." and after several trials, many leading Grunt scientists agree that, like all things on Halopedia, the above quote is absolute heresy and will be condemned to all the laws of Gruntiness.
- It can make you fly!
- It attracts noobs since it makes them think that it may lead somewhere.
- When the Crap Lift is used correctly, it can give you MAX AIDS!
- It aids in the retrieval of the cowbell skull in Halo 3 on The Ark mission.
- It's blue.
- It looks like freaking water.
- When you finally decide you want to use that one that's on the floor, it destroys itself right in front of you.
- By the time you release the stupid device, you're already getting splattered.
- When backing up while pre-occipied with something else, (giggity) one may accidentally step into the magicalblue light of escape
- Throughout much of the human covenant war, nobody ever used it. Normally in campaign. one would find Gravity Lifts left around in some derelict corner (Brutes prefer to avoid this equipment since they are too fat to even be lifted). Grunts normally used them as a means to escape battles (Hey, they don't weigh much and flying grunts are funny). This method however, has miserably failed due to the fact that grunts explode upon impact on the ground. The portable Gravity Lift is also used to obtain the Cowbell Skull on the level "The Ark", however it takes so much skill, that people have reduced themselves to stacking dead bodies in order to reach that skull (No you silly noob, you can't stack dead bodies).
|Gruntiness' Dumb Brother | That Green Orb Plant that heals you | The Mine that can be seen a mile away | Yellow Ball of gay-version of Gruntiness | Blue Shield Thingy|
|Crappy Equipment that makes you wonder why Bungie put them in Halo|
|Blue Ball of Suckage of life | White-yellow soup fog | Feel the breeze under you | Thing that makes radars play music and go insane|
|Good for ugly people like Brutes | Most abused by noobs | Something your mom uses everyday|