Gravity Lift
From Gruntipedia
The magical blue light of escape!
- — Grunt on Gravity lift
Contents |
[edit] Overview
The Grav Lift gives a new meaning to meaningless. It is supposed to be used to either get up onto high places or stop a vehicle from splattering you. What does it do instead? How bout trap you in between the force of the lift and a low ceiling leaving you vulnerable to attack and an embarrassing t-bag afterwards. Bungie could've put this in the game as an assisting tool to get out of maps but nooo... they filled the whole game with electric fences invisible barriers.
[edit] Controversy
As explained above, this equipment is complete failure. Along with the fact that it denies the laws of physics (which can be eaten) and its fricken blue, the gravity lift is one of the most controversial equipment out there. Gravity isn't blue, if it was, then what the heck is a plasma grenade? Along with that, the Gravity lift has been known to offer absolutely NO protection from vehicles. According to Halopedia "It has the power to lift vehicles, such as the Mongoose, and other objects besides players into the air." and after several trials, many leading Grunt scientists agree that the above quote is absolute heresy and will be condemned to all the laws of Gruntiness.
[edit] The Good
- It can make you fly!
- It attracts n00bs since it makes them think that it may lead somewhere.
- When the Crap Lift is used correctly, it can give you a single kill!! (OMG!!)
[edit] The Bad
- Its blue.
- It looks like fricken water.
- It sounds like... like.... a magical sparkling lake filled with mermaids (infected with AIDS)
- You can shoot it, and it blows up... wait... If you shot it... wouldn't the bullets be influenced by the gravity field and go flying to god knows where? DAMN PHYSICS!!
- Brutes think its shiney.
- When you finally decide you want to use that one that's on the floor, it destroys itself right in front of you.
- By the time you release the stupid device, you're already getting splattered
[edit] Uses
Throughout much of the human covenant war, nobody ever used it. Normally in campaign. one would find Grav lifts left around in some derelict corner (Brutes prefer to avoid this equipment since they are too fat to even be lifted). Grunts normally used them as a means to escape battles (Hey, they don't weigh much and flying grunts are funny). This method however, has miserably failed due to the fact that grunts explode upon impact on the ground. The portable gravity lift is also used to obtain the Cowbell Skull on the level "The Ark", however it takes so much skill, that people have reduced themselves to stacking dead bodies in order to reach that skull (No you silly noob, you can't stack dead bodies).
| Equipment | ||
| Useful Equipment | ||
| Gruntiness' Dumb Brother | That Green Orb Plant that heals you | The Mine that can be seen a mile away | Yellow Ball of gay-version of Gruntiness | Blue Shield Thingy | ||
| Crappy Equipment that makes you wonder why Bungie put them in Halo | ||
| Blue Ball of Suckage of life | White-yellow soup fog | Feel the breeze under you | Thing that makes radars play music and go insane | ||
| Other stuff | ||
| Good for ugly people like Brutes | Most abused by noobs | Something your mom uses everyday
|
