Gravity Hammer

From Gruntipedia

This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Gravity Hammer.

Me smash better now!

— Brute, after finding a Gravy Hammer

Me bad me bad !

— A Grunt charged with super Gruntiness stealing a gravy hammer from a dead Brute

HAHAHA, I whacked the little human with my big, hard stick

— A Brute Chieftan killing a Marine

HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA smashy boom boom!

— A Grunt using a gravy hammer to f*** himself

Mine's way bigger

— Master Chief about Gravy Hammer

In Soviet Russia, Gravity Hammer smashes YOU!!!!

— Russian reversal on Gravity hammer

The Gravity Hammer (also known as the Gravity Spammer or the Gravy Hammer) is a commonly used wanking walking stick of the Brutes. Once wanked whacked an enemy in the head, gravy comes out. Lots of gravy. The underpowered piece of shit excuse for a swo- I mean Gravy Hammer has a large blade on its edge, but the blade is just for fancy shows and attracting horny sex-slaves in order for losers to get a date.

No Grunt has ever wielded the Gravy Hammer ("Chipote Chillon" in Mèxico, don't make me tell you why, please), but if they did, it would result in... Well, something bad, like say... a severely horny Grunt, or the death of all life as we know it, or the Invincible Grunt. That or they wouldn't be able to lift it. That would look funny.

This melee weapon seems to make a sonic blast after it is swung near the gravitational surface of a map that results in a nearby opponent in front of you to "blast" farther back or die. Unlike the energy sword, this weapon is more fucktarded, and does deplete more electrostatic gravity charge (ammo) if you swing at the air for fun.

Some Grunts were known after several wanking uses of this weapon to become severely horny angry, and would trip over their own testicles and become tangled up in them, due to the weight. This could take out AIDS warriors with one wank smack.

It has a brother. Its name is Banhammer. Banhammer always wins.

[edit] Ban Hammer

This is another version of the weapon used by the Admins of Halopedia, Halo Fanon and Gruntipedia and the uber-awesome Flaming Ninjas. It's basically the same, except it's on fire and it kills in one swipe. But, they can also use it to bring killed users back from the dead. A swing to the face will send you on a one way trip to Bantown, where you will be forced to live with a crowd of noobs and hackers and forced to end your shenanigans in the real world.

[edit] Golf Club

Mythic map pack Sandbox has a version called the 9-Wood (7-Wood n00b get it straight). It does almost no damage, but inflicts major damage to balls, sending them flying from their previous location inside of the n00bs belly (for they have not dropped yet), into the nearest actually good player.

[edit] Bill Murray

He used one of these once. Back in Vietnam.