Gravemind
From Gruntipedia
I am a timeless chorus, join your voice with mine and make love with me forever.
- — The Gravemind
- I am a retarded puff who like to say stuff in poems.
- — The Gravemind when he was asked about himself at a job interview
- Watch out for my busy hands.
- — -Gravemind to Cortana
- I will...no, sorry, I've run out of ideas. Give me a sec...um...
- — -A Gravemind blank
- Why does no one ever just pop in for a visit?.
- — The Gravemind disscussing his undersea love-pad
- GTFO of my article!
- — Gravemind to his brother, Ravemind, after he offered him some self-grown weed.
Cortana_vs_Gravemind.jpg
The Gravemind was a playboy Forerunner maniac who lived on a Forerunner World Ship. He is also Pestilence, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and spreads AIDS wherever he goes. He is better well know for his appearances in tentacle hentai mainly in japan. His loads of tentacles and and monster like appearance makes him perfect for shoving lots of ungodly large tentacles into the females of the halo universe. Mainly Cortana! OH YEAH Halographic Booty!
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[edit] Early Life
The Gravemind randomly found people, Forerunners, aliens, rocks, and trees, and dry humped them. But, sometimes, it went too far. Then he contracted the Aids virus. When his other Forerunners found out, they attacked him and locked him up on the Alpha Hula Hoop. He then got very lonely and resorted to do something incredibly unimaginable: he mated with the other species of animals that lived there and they got infected with Aids. Then, they 'did' other things then they got infected too, then a huge war broke out with the Forerunners and the Aids virus. But, the Gravemind commanded Aids to infect the whole Forerunner race. He infected dozen of ships and made the Forerunners hide beneath the covers like little panzies. Then, the Forerunners got tired of fighting the Aids virus and the weird playboy maniac: Gravemind, and decided to commit suicide and take the galaxy with them. They activated the giant hula hoops and the Aids virus was contained. He is also rumored to have eaten the Oxford English Dictionary when he was 10 years old.
[edit] Alpha Hula Hoop
The AIDS virus was contained for some time, until a bunch of dickhead Marines opened a gate that released the AIDS virus and infected most of things that lived on the Halo, again. Then a guy named Master Chief fought the Flood and left his Marines on Halo before he blew it up. But, the Gravemind got really, really pissed off that the Chief blew up his home and moved to another monkey Halo.
[edit] Delta Hula Hoop
- There is much humping, and I have wathched, through rock and metal and time. Now I shall hump, and you shall lie down..
- — The Gravemind
Master Chief was able to stop the wrath of a sex crazed maniac only for a short time because the Gravemind will be back. The Flood was released again on Delta Halo and they fought the Marines and Covenant. But, the Gravemind captured the Master Chief and the Arbiter and told them about his sexually oriented plans and dropped Master Chief on High Charity, where another infected ship crashed on it and gave the elites the aids virus, and the Gravemind teleported on High Charity and captured the Chiefs AI: Cortana and used her to give the Chief sexual visions of her . Strangely, Gravemind decided not to infect the Master Chief, or the Arbiter. Maybe they just weren't his type The Gravemind refused to share where he hid his play toy Cortana on High Charity but he did say it had something to do with flicking on the light switch so the bookcase moved to the side, sliding down the pole, going through the maze, killing the minotaur then arriving at his Secret Room
[edit] Identity
Gravemind is believed to be Dr. Phil in disguise due to his constant nagging, ferocious temper, and bad jokes. (Some n00bs believe that he stole them from the Covenant Book of Jokes that was left behind when he turned High Charity into a ball of poop); but that's getting off subject. Gravemind is believed to have an attraction to Cortana, but this is proved otherwise in an interview that our *cough* top scientists *cough* had with him; here is a fragment of that interview.
"So Gravemind, is it true that you have a sexual attraction to Cortana?"
"I used to, but not anymore. When Cortana was trapped in High Charity with me and my AIDS, I was all excited about doing her all to myself. She was hard to find, but after a long week I did and I was shocked at what I found. She had apparently gone insane in her time at my new house; she was chewing on the leg of a dead jackal. While doing so, she kept muttering something about 2 girls, 1 cup. It was quite frightening. Ever since that day, my attraction to her was just like my erectile disfunction, it was kind of just on and off. I probably shouldn't have told you that."
"... wow. Gruntipedia doesn't pay me enough to do this."
To view the entire interview, tune into Fox Reality Channel at 3:00 AM.
[edit] An end
- Defeat is merely the addition of time to a sentence I never deserved. All I wanted was pleasure of the opposite gender.
- — The Gravemind before he died
When an AIDS ship crashed on Earth, the infected Elites 'did' the Humans and gave them AIDS, but when High Charity crashed on the Ark, Master Chief went inside and blew it up and got Cortana back. Now, Gravemind was really, really, really pissed now and he moved to Alpha Hoola Hoops's baby brother that everyone thought was destroyed but was actually not, despite the BIG explosion, and commanded AIDS to stop the Chief and the Arbiter from activating the Hoop. But his sexual plans were stopped, and they activated it. Gravemind was sad and started to masturbate until the Hoola Hoop blew up and he was annihilated. As the Halo blew up, a release of sperm went everywhere, thus, Gravemind just did an orgasm.
[edit] Family Tree
Killmine
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+-------+-------+
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Davemind--+--Slavemind Nick Cavemind--+--The Bad Seedsmind
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| Nevermind Behavemind Be kind Rewind--+--Master Chef
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+----------+----------+----------+----------+----------+ Master Mind
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Don’tmind Ravemind Bravemind Dirtbag your mom Gravemind--+--Cortana
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+------+------+--------------+--------+
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Cravemind Gravekind Davemind Stevemind
Gravemind has many close family members, though they are not as concerned about the spread of AIDS throughout the galaxy as much as Gravemind is, with most members vowing not to get involved in such dirty antics. Instead they are involved in more legitimate businesses, such as drugs, money laundering and other vices. Gravemind is also the bringer of HOW TO NOT B A NOOB
| Characters | ||
| UNSC | ||
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Chuck Norris | Compute-whore | Badass Mofo | Johnson's Bitch | Flood Beach Ball | 1000x better than Captain Keyes | Warthog Guy | ||
| Covenant | ||
| E.T. Gone Bad | Tartar Sauce | Arbiturd | Rats in a Vacuum | That Baller | Prophet of Sagginess | Boss Battle #1 | Prophet of Pimps | The Real Prophet of Haters | Female Prophets Exist?? | Suck'a Zombie | Dem D-Bags | The Ugly Turkey | ||
| Other | ||
| Lightbulb | Captain Stinky Breath | King of Grunts | Yapyap the First | Another grunt with the Yapyap name | "Pope" Yapyap III | TIDDLES |
| Flood | ||
| Popcorn | Man Huggers | Soccer balls | Stalks-Miranda-a-lot | More annoying than a jackhole | Flood Version of Yo Mama | Badass Mofo Flood |
Rave to the Grave | Dumbmind |
