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Flood

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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Flood.
Two Marines fall to the workings of AIDS. Note the strange mangling of the bodies.
Two Marines fall to the workings of AIDS. Note the strange mangling of the bodies.

Contents

[edit] Origin

No-one knows where AIDS originated. It is known, however that it destroyed an entire race of super-beings, known as the Forerunners. The afflicted are more commonly known as the Flood. However, everyone agrees that AIDS is an extremly potent weapon of mass destruction, even if it looks like Tartar sauce's special Meaty Monday Surprise(seriously, how can he swallow that stuff, it looks like shit!)

[edit] Infection

Infection with AIDS generally leads to a phase of aggression, in which the afflicted is unaware of damage taken or threats to personal safety. After this phase comes a period of determined and extreme in-breeding, where the afflicted will end up bearing their own mutant babies. Eventually, the afflicted become self-aware, and commit suicide, unleashing waves of small forms composed of pure AIDS. These forms then seek to infect others, thus repeating the cycle of afflicted, butthead, little squid dude. Some are resistant to AIDS mostly Grunts with the Gruntiness but Bumblebees, Turkeys, and Cans of worms are not affected for some reason. We have our *cough* top *cough* scientists working on this now (O.K. their not our top but their good, well O.K., they are janitors who wanted promotions, but mark our words, they will find a cure). Known Covenant AIDS victims include the three Testicle Chin Hierarchs, whose names are Truth, Mercy, and Regret.

[edit] Combat

AIDS attempting to hug grunt(open link to see photo)
AIDS attempting to hug grunt(open link to see photo)

The afflicted are not resistant to damage, they are simply unaware of it. The only reason a headshot from a sniper rifle kills an un-afflicted person is because the person believes it will. The afflicted, unhindered by this, appear resistant to damage. Therefore only weapons that cause catastrophic injuries, such as shotguns and rockets, are the most effective weapons. In layman's terms; big gun = pwnage.


The Best weapon for fighting off AIDS is the Blowtorch Try not to bring Chuck Norris as even he is scared to fight the AIDS. This is not because he is afraid of aids, but simply afriad of them giving hugs, which is why we or the covenant dont like them, they just tend to give hugs too often.

[edit] Soccerball

Master Chief kickin' soccerball's butt.
Master Chief kickin' soccerball's butt.

This very rare form of AIDS is formed when AIDS gets its hands on human or covenant with very rare disease called "butthead". After infecting a human with "butthead", AIDS strangely enlarges it's victims head so nearly all of the rest of the body is now in a very big ball that used to be the victims head. (One of known carriers of "butthead" was Captain Keyes, as you can see in Halo: Combat Evolved on level "Keyes" he is in a form of AIDS that looks like a gigantic testicle).

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