Flare

From Gruntipedia

This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

ZOMG! I Cannot see! It smells like chicken soup! I taste apple sauce! Why do I taste apple sauce!? Oh shit, I gotta crouch or those grunts'll kill me... wh-wha? A-am I crouching? Let me look at the controller... zomg I can't see it! Ahhh! They might be shooting at me this very second and they could kill me! AHAAHAHAHAAHHH!! DEAR JESUS HAVE MERCY, I ALWAYS BELEIVED IN YOU! Oh god, crouch, crouch! CROUCH! I m-must crouch! ZOMG, I can't tell because I c-can't see! PinkServ`! Save me! ... I-it's gone? IT'S GONE! Imma kill dem grunts now!

— a n00b after he threw his Flare into a wall.

That was easy...

— Grunt on killing the above noob

Hey its a magical ball of light!

— A Mentally Challenged Grunt

The Flare is a weapon of supreme cheapness mostly dropped by Brutes. Most players don't use it because the Covenant can somehow see through the cloud of shit because of their x-ray goggles of SWAG. Human forces have tried to make their own but to no avail. So we just don't use them that much in campaign-and only stupid people use it in multiplayer. I mean what the fuck!? Why even try when its range is so large that only a noob would think that it wouldn't effect him!?

[edit] The Good

Wow, uh...nothing good to write except that, while in the cloud, you can hope to hit someone or something... something like a wall....

[edit] The Bad

It's like someone dropped you in a bowl of chicken soup, yums. You can't see anything but a yellow fog! So Bungie, how is a feeble Noob to even kill a grunt with it when the grunt can somehow see through the chicken soup fog? A pointless weapon.

[edit] Facts

• It is only useful if you obtain the legendary: I can see through this chicken noodle soup goggles of SWAG. A good tactic is to throw it at a noob, who will immediatly run into a wall screaming in fear of the sudden reverse-dark. Then you can kill him.

Equipment

Useful Equipment

Gruntiness' Dumb Brother | That Green Orb Plant that heals you | The Mine that can be seen a mile away | Yellow Ball of gay-version of Gruntiness | Blue Shield Thingy

Crappy Equipment that makes you wonder why Bungie put them in Halo

Blue Ball of Suckage of life | White-yellow soup fog | Feel the breeze under you | Thing that makes radars play music and go insane

Other stuff

Good for ugly people like Brutes | Most abused by noobs | Something your mom uses everyday