Energy Sword
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What the hell, in the Troy, is that?
- — The Beastie Boys, on the Energy Stick
- Warning: Do not hit people with this. It has a chance of causing death or chopping stuff in half
- — Death Stick warning label
- It's like a key... when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death.
- — Michael J. Caboose, Blue Army Soldier...ish
- A sharp increase in youths hitting 'Energy Swords' against each other because it causes them to feel 'buzzed' and 'disoriented' was noted this year.
- — President Obama of the UNSC
- Oooooooooooooooooooh shiny... I wanna touch...
- — A stupid Brute.
- OH SHIT! ENERGY SWORD!
- — Master Chief (has no ammo) sees a pissed Elite with Energy Sword running after him
- Nice energy sword, buddy. I wonder if maybe you're compensating for something
- — Suicidal Marine
- In soviet russia, Death Stick kills YOU!!
- — The Guide to Everything for Russian Marines
- SON OF A- oh hey, I'm bleeding! cool!
- — a marine with the average iq a marine would have, activates an energy sword from a dead elite, only to found he activated it backwards(it's plausable he knew the sword was backwards)
The Energy Sword, more commonly known as the Death Stick,The Shiny Thingy, Key of Deathness, Giant knife, Sharp Hammer', or Scary Spoon is a practical joke played on the Elites by the Prophets to make them sexually aroused in order to get their balls chopped off by the Brutes Gay Space Gorillas. Its blade is made of pure Plasma cum, so any human who uses it dies instantly.
It is still unknown why the Scary Spoons have limited ammunition, being a spoon and all... odd.
While noobs haven't yet noticed, they keep whining why they always die using the sweeper combo, (Shotgun and Spoon). With their futile attempts to kill someone five miles away, when it is obvious that shotgun beats sniper.
Theses crappy spoons are really light but the Elites are to bad ass to dual wield them! Or they thought "Wait...these things kill stuff in one hit, right? Who needs to duel wield them?"
It should also be noted that the Energy Sword is solar powered, making it extremely dangerous to Obama's supporters.
It has recently been proven that energy sword works just like a standard kitchen knife. The sword will soon be available in standard cutlery sets.
It was the weapon used in the duel with Bilbo Baggins and The King.
Coming soon, the energy fork to those who Bungie considers not a noob on XBL. If you don't have it yet, then you are just a n00b... i have one... i just don't want to show it to you... because its really cool. So get Xbox live, make a popular machinima, and convince Bungie to give you an Energy Fork. Maybe there will be an energy spork!
. This applies especially to Energy Swords.
