Elite
From Gruntipedia
bow chicka honk honk!
- — a very happy elite
- Wort wort wort!
- — Elite philosophy on life.
- Wart wort wort!
- — Elite after shooting himself.
- Wort wort wort!
- — 2-year old Elite on humans.
- Wort wort wort!
- — Elites on humans.
- Wort wort wort!
- — Elite during a heated discussion.
- Wort wort wort!
- — Sergeant Johnson saying Go go go backwards.
- Wort wort wort!
- — Elite version of a 9 hour political speech.
- Wort wort...wait, why don't we just speak english? Then we wouldn't sound so stupid.
- — The Arbiter.
Elites are huge creatures, and are one of the most powerful troops in the Covenant. They're pretty cool, too. They kill the traitorous Brutes, and they kill evil Jackals and save the humble Grunts. They nearly killed the Prophets in the past, and would have made the world a better place. Somehow, this created the Covenant. They are known to speak their native language of wortish.
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Contents |
[edit] Biology
Their vocabulary mostly consists of the word wort. This is because at some stage of their evolution, they had a tendency to grow warts. They then proceded to make sure everyone else knew about it, and now is their main form of language
[edit] What they look like
Like mentioned before, the Elites have four mouth prongs, which makes it hard to eat stuff. Why they didn't change to a liquid alternative (like smoothies) is unknown. Their stomaches rumbling, the Elites are always pissed off. So pissed off, in fact, that they barely know who to side with. But, because that previous bit was nothing but filler, meant for you, the stupid reader, to keep reading, this completely unnecessary section isn't over yet. Anyway, Elites are lizards without tails, and for some reason, their knees bend the wrong way. They're really tall, and are pretty strong. They're gray, but for unknown reasons, do not wear pants. This would gross some people out, and would have most Elites arrested for indecent exposure, except no-one has observed any "Organs" down there.
[edit] Culture
Despite their pissed off attitude and zealous religious violence, Elites are pretty laid back. They have been observed on Earth beaches, usually attempting to drink out of straws, all the while telling the Grunts to fetch them sandwiches. However, due to the lack of a a chin, they get even more pissed off, and bite the Grunts.
(Note: The insane number of teeth and lack of a chin has led to the most horrific oral cavity in the known, and quite possibly unknown, universe.)
Sometimes, an Elite will feel the urge to procreate, and is stricken with the hard truth once they find out that they have no can't find their boy/girl parts, mainly because they are hermaphrodites and have BOTH. Yet, even with this... oddity, they have managed to make billions of little baby Elites throughout the years (explained briefly in the next section).
Elites are also known to dance around, carrying rainbow swords. Apparently, they are attracted to pretty colours. But then again, who isn't?
[edit] Breeding behaviors
Through extensive investigation it has been found that Elites reproduce without easily observable parts, as they fall in love the female will eat the head of the male (like a praing mantis) and soon after spit up an egg or 2 then she walks away with them for the next victim. This is a possible explaination for why only male Elites are seen in the military (Who wouldn't want to escape something that has the intention of biting your head off?).
[edit] Known Elites
- Arbiter
- Ratsass 'Vacuumee
- Zama 'Zappazee
- Gonna 'Kilmee
- Ime 'Mistertee
- Please 'Dontkilmee
- Pete the Friendly Elite
- Osama Bin'Ladee
- Crunchbite
- Hellen Keller
- Barack Obamee
- Iwillnot Suckura
- Notanoobee
- Homee
- Cannot 'Pronouncee
- Mamas'ee Mamasa
- Damu Icantsee
- Yo'Momee
- Tucker Junior
- Huka 'Loogee
- Baker Ofcookiee
- Joey
- Alah Kazamee
- Indy Jonesee
- Crita 'Seizmee
- Hetor VonZumee
- Honk Honk
- Indiana Jonsee
- The Guy From The Geico Commercials
- Your Neighbor
- Youra Bigfonee
- Ima Dumbee
- chuck.. Murphy the Grunts best friend
- Babyo' Rihannee
- Holde Firee
- junior(red vs blue season 5)
- Luke 'Skywalkee
- Anakin Skywalkee (a.k.a. Darth Vader)
- Op "Rhee
- Disnameaint 'Datfunnee
- Glunge
- Aydid 'Yurmomee
- Ima 'Presidentee
- Urmomhas 'Athingee
- Istarta 'Riotee
- Shaken 'Bakee
| The Covenant | ||
| Testicle Chins | Xenomorphs | The big fluffy ones | Mods | ||
| Those huge bastards with big guns | Gigantasaurus Neverappearus | ||
| Space Wasps | Sniper Turkeys | The little cute ones | ||
