History EditDr Catherine Halsey was the ugly slutty scientist who created the Spartans (aka, Badass dudes from hell). TheSpartans became so badass because of an accidental dose of Gruntiness. Dr Halsey mistook the syringe of Gruntiness, with a syringe of crack she was testing on the Spartans. Once injected with the Gruntiness all but a few Spartans perished because they couldn't handle it, one Spartan (Master Chief) showed symptoms not unlike that of an aids infection. And like and aids infection, it changed him, but it changed him into the ass kicking, mofo we know and hate (due to his massive grunt slaughtering record). Most of the Spartans strength came from having fucked up the bitch every day and having wild hot foursomes. To have them to herself, Halsey spread a rumor they were all neutered. She reported that Master Chief had the biggest. Just like Miranda Keyes, Cortana, and every other major female character, Halsey wanted to rape MC. Halsey would after the augmentation progress, halsey would have sex with the spartans to see if they were good, halsey would always want to screw MC. Halsey eventually screwed MC due to the help of FENIX 256, a badass pwner of noobs who eventually became infected by AIDS gruntiness and got in a mood and blew a giant hole in mombasa partly because of yipyaps death and partly because he was having a monumental orgy that affected many flying anuses the pillar of autumn (a giant stripper pole), attacked the halo ring a giant cannon designed to kill AIDS. Unfortunately halsey was creating cortana, an AI that would eventually get breast implants.
Relationship with Master ChiefEdit
Out of all the Spartans, Dr. Halsey is known to have favoured Master Chief because of his ability to do her extra hard. Evidence supporting this statement is that on June 7th 2550, Master Chief entered the same restaurant Halsey was eating at. Instinctively, Halsey swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged The Chief to ravish her. Chief remained calm and simply said "After I finish my beer". After Chief finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chief's magnificent lead sperm cannoned from his penis into Halsey's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, "Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split open by teh CHEEF!?" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. "I didn't fucking think so!" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chief's balls. Chief pulled out; roundhouse kicked Halsey in the face and told her, "Don't ever waste my time again." Then to his surprise, she raped him.
Halsey was last seen vanishing off with a different Spartan in a tiny ship, it is presumed that she will test this Spartan the worst substances known in the universe (the Spice Girls, aids, diet coke, the Jurassic Park sequels and many more), this will be done in order to create the ultimate spartan. And if that time comes, then may god have mercy on us all! Or she might be having a secret affair with her, more likely since she used to fuck with them all. Did I mention she was going to Onyx to have sex with drones and Chief Mendez. On her way out with Commander Jiles party yaht, she packed 2 duffel bags full of lube, weed, dildos, holodisk full of porn, her AI she used to control, her remote dildo, a unconsious SPARTAN-III, and last but not least, her vagina.
In accordance with ONI Directive 2593 Gruntipedia is required to provide an alternate, ONI certified article about Dr.Catheine Halsey-
Dr.Catherine Halsey was a civilian consultant for ONI during and before the Human-Covenant War. Dr Halsey is most famous for the Spartan Program, a voluntary, legal, and completely safe endeavor to produce supersoldiers known as Spartans from willing volunteers. Surprisingly, the Insurrection movement has a different, wrong, view of Halsey which portrays her as a woman with no morals and a fetish for kidnapping small children. But any loyal UNSC citizen knows that Halsey is just what the textbooks proclaim her as, a saint.
Yah Fucking right!!!
THIS ISN'T FUCKING HALOPEDIA!
- She's a scientist.
- She understands Wortish.
- When Halo Legends was out, most noobs masurbrated to catherine halsey due to her looking young.
- She's a Mommy to all spartans.
- She's old Now. (Probably 50, ewww).
- She has dildo shagged most spartans: Chief, Kelly, Palmer, Noble Sex (I just cant say how many, the noobs will be heart-broken but who wouldn't be).
- While she was trapped in the ship in halo legends she was used as a sex slave for the elites, Like Miranda Keyes. (Not surprising).