For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Covenant Destroyer.
Covie Destroyer

The Covenant Destroyer with obscene imaging on it

The Covenant Destroyer was made by Covrop Gruntan as the Fuckenant's primary screw up ship. Unfortunately it was no screw up. It became a baller of a ship. If the stinky humans didn't already think their own ships sucked balls they really got a face-full of semen when they came across this mother for the first time. As described by the Arbiter these Destroyers can take on your shit navy and still be home in time for dinner. It is worth noting that the American Destroyer USS Cole was not destroyed by fools (Terrorists), it was secretly destroyed by a Covie Destroyer. It is rumored this happened because the Cole was dry humping the Covie Destroyer's wife.


The Covie Destroyers are the same as all other Covie ships. They are purple! WTF!? They are shaped like a lobster that has no claws and flies around in space biting any pricks that try to challenge it. You cannot visibly see their weapons so the lights of doom are pretty much coming out of their asses. We think there is a gravity lift of some sort to transport lazy Brutes to and from the surface of whatever planet they want to screw. There should also be shields protecting but this is not confirmed since they can barely take a slap across the face, like all shields. Known weapons are:

  • The same old shit launchers
  • Flamethrower!
  • Bumblebee stingers
  • some sort of AA weapon
  • Sandra Bullocks' face
  • Chainsaw


The covie Destroyer is among the fastest things in Halo times. It has an upgraded GM engine with Chernobyl' radiation powering it. This is why most Covenant near the stern get lung cancer in their 3 lungs. Or that may be the cocaine. It is so fast that if you look closely in that one scene from the Lost Spongebob episode you can see a Covie Destroyer blaze by, but you are probably too high to hear the pilot yell "Fuck this program!"

Known DestroyersEdit

  • Raptor Fart
  • Juicy Turkey
  • Grunty Grunt
  • Destined Chimney
  • Intoxicated Yoda

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