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Covenant

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For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Covenant.
Your world will be nothing but glass,and not even your demon can save you. How was that? Was that too menacing?...what? Oh, the mike is still on.
— Prophet of Truth to the people of Earth
The thousand nations of the Persian Empire Covenant descend upon you!
— Prophet of Truth to the people of Earth
Be afraid. Sparta Earth will burn to the ground! Oh...wait...
— Prophet of Truth to the people of Earth
We're stupid whores trying to kill ourselves and the galaxy
— Prophet of n00b, later shot
Our banshees will cover the Sun! ...you know, when we build that many Banshees. We're working on it, OK?
— Prophet of Truth to Johnson
Then we will turn on the lights!
— Johnson killing Truth

The Covenant, also known as cool people split-lipped grapes, are the main enemy in the Halo universe, next to the Sentinels, and the Aids. Which consume all races with their graspy-feeler-thingies.

[edit] Types of Covenant

  • Grunts Scaredy Cats God Of All Covenant
  • Engineers Floating Gas Bags
  • Drones weedy fly bees
  • Prophets Testical Chins
  • Brutes People hairier than your mums upper lip
  • Jackals Sniper Turkeys
  • Elites cool nobel protoss-wannabe friends of the grunty with broken jaws saying "wort wort wort"
  • Hunters dumbass worm men
  • Drinol One Eyed Monsters That Are Supposedly Invisible Because They Have Never Been Seen

[edit] Covenant's Purpose

The Covenant's overall plan in life is to do the hoola hoop which would end up boring us all. When the Humans tried to tell them that, the Covenant got mad and attacked Earth. The Covenant see the Forerunners as Gods, despite knowing almost nothing about them. The covenant get into a lot of fights with each other, release AIDS on planets by "accident", and are lead by Prophets who also get in fights with themselves. They have an obsession with coloring all their vehicles purple. I wonder why purple (color of grapes) although the elites like green (still color of grapes).

[edit] The Starting of the Covenant

The whole Covenant thing started when 4 Prophets were booted from their homeworld for being different. Their names were Inky, Blinky, Pinky and clyde but they thought there names were to pussy so changed them to Truth (who always lies), Mercy (who has no mercy) , Regret (who regrets getting uber pwned by the master thief), and Chuck ( who was to scared and ran away and we never heard from him again) They decided to do something useful so they decided to form an alliance of all the other alien races that were banished from their home worlds and start a successful Grape harvesting company. This failed. Then the four original Prophets decided they were going to worship somebody and then do something stupid that would end up killing them all. They eventually found a Hoola-hoop thingy. They thought it looked cool and started to research it and it's ancient history. They found that there was a parasite living on one the hula-hoop thingys and thought it was a good idea to let it loose. One of the four original prophets, Chuck, didn't think that was a good idea, so the other 3 prophets beat him with sticks until he died. The 3 remaining prophets let the flood loose then high-tailed it off the hoola-hoop and went around space putting flyers up about the Covenant. After a few thousand years some races joined, like the Grunts and Squid Lizard things. Later, the Monkey guys joined, but were soon gotten rid of. Nobody liked them anyway. A couple hundred years later, they found Earth. The humans thought they were too cool for the Covenant so they got mad and started a war with the humans. Little did they know tat they were retarded because they would all get killed by the master chef(HEEHAAAHEE).


The Covenant
Testicle Chins | Xenomorphs | The big fluffy ones | Mods
Those huge bastards with big guns | Gigantasaurus Neverappearus
Space Wasps | Sniper Turkeys | The little cute ones
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