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Cortana Moments (a.k.a pms) are moments or hallucinations that happen when either the Master Chief drinks too much Budweiser or Cortana just wants to bitch at him or even if she is having her period.

Covenant scientists were working on finding out how to stop the Cortana moments for many reasons (mostly because the Cortana Moments pisses off Master Chief and makes him fight harder). They stopped shortly after beginning the project. This was because the Prophet of Truth withdrew the money from the project to invest in Enron (EPIC FAIL).

Known Moments Edit


  • Cortana: This structure is not a natural formation...
  • Master Chief: What the fuck. Why is a computer whore that costs millions of dollars telling me that this isn't natural? Don't the perfectly symetrical walls gave it away?


  • Cortana: They let me pick, did I ever tell you that? *Continued rambling*
  • Master Chief: Damn, I thought I finally got rid of you.

 Crow's NestEdit

  • Gravemind: I hope you know why I took her.
  • Master Chief: You're not even supposed to be in this moment, so... begone, rotten bastard!
  • Cortana: I will tear open your tomb and sleep with your corpse.
  • Cortana: I am a monument to all your masturbations.
  • Master Chief: ....Wha?

The CovenantEdit

  • Cortana: The Arbiter is fucking hot for taking out the Prophet of Truth
  • Arbiter: And?
  • Master Chief: Arbiter you better quit hitting on my girl.
  • Arbiter: Can we do it in High Charity?
  • Master Chief: STFU!
  • Cortana:...Threesome?
  • Master Chief: HELL NO!

{The Chief shoots Arbiter with the Halo 1 pistol. The Legendary Campaign mode Covenant.}

The Halo 3 Legendary Ending Edit

  • Cortana: You know Chief....
  • Master Chief: Yeah?
  • Cortana: I only bitch because I like you...
  • Master Chief: ...OK in that case then... *Engages Cryo Sleep so that he can... avoid Cortana*.
  • Cortana: :(

(Thus is the real story. The only time Cortana admits her secret passion, MC tries to get away for her seductive ways of her beautiful boobs.

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