For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Capture the Flag.

Wait, this isn't Call of Duty...

Cquote1In Soviet Russia, the flag captures YOUCquote2
— A Russian Guy after drinking too much vodka.

Capture the Flag is a gametype in every Halo game except for Halo Whores because that game sucked balls harder than the strongest vacuum cleaner in the world ever could. This gametype is not for N00bs, but n00bs play it anyway because they are stupid little bastards.

The goal is simple. Every team is given one flag and one Grunt. Each team must break into the enemy base, retrieve the flag, and shove it up the grunt's ass. First team to get three flags in their grunt's ass wins. The players of the winning team get credits. The grunt of the winning team gets a bloody asshole. Then a magical voice congratulates the players for scoring and tells them to get a god damn life already.

Da RulezEdit

  • Kill the n00bz
  • Kill the campers
  • Kill the pros
  • Ignore the flag and just go for the kills.
  • Steal the flag. Ignore all the top secret files and super weapons, just take their flag. Don't ask why. It's the flag.
  • Don't be a n00b (you're going to break this rule, aren't you N00B?!)
  • Kill Bungie
  • Nuke everything


  • Double Flag: You must shove two flags up a grunt's ass at the same time.
  • Mega Flag: You need 100 points to win. This often requires the use of several grunts, as a grunt can only fit so many flagpoles in its ass.
  • Hunter Flag: Instead of a grunt, you must stick the flags up a Hunter's ass. Hunters do not take kindly to this.
  • Grunt Brawl: Instead of flags, you must shove the grunts up each other's asses.
  • Two Grunts One Cup: The grunts take turns eating each other's excrement. There are no flags or guns. You just watch the grunts eat each other's shit. You sick bastard.


There are three core strategies to be used when play Capture the Flag. The first strategy is the Warthog Strategy. All players draw straws. The player who draws the short straw gets to sit behind at the base while the others get to go on a roadtrip. They all drive into the enemy base and steal the flag.

Strategy two is the Commander Strategy. One player (the commander) attempts to control all the n00bs on the team. He then commands the snipers to shoot enemy players in the head and/or nuts. He orders three players to take a warthog into the battle and get blown up, and then the commander gets in the tank and shoots everything.

The final strategy is the N00b Strategy, also known as the RRRRAAAAGGGHHHH! Strategy. Basically, everyone runs in headfirst and blows themselves up with Rocket Launchers. Then the campers kill everyone and the game ends 0-0.


  • It was originally going to be a gametype called Capture the Fag, but fags run too fast. Bungie then made Capture the Flag.
  • The grunts can get very butt-hurt about this game.
  • The flag is actually the mastermind of this game. It just lets you capture it.

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