For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on CCS-class Battlecruiser.
AV Johnson
This article is too damned short, Marine! You will help Gruntipedia by making it larger so it will fit the screen, fool!

A CCS Battlecruiser.

The "Sissy Ass" CCS class Battlecruiser is the Covenant's excuse for a uber ass kicking ship. But, that's just what critics say, it's actually quite a mofo. They are approximately 20 Grunts long and 10 Grunts tall plus 2 Humans wide. Many think its the most annoying thing of all and complain that its only 1 of 2 types of Covie ships that appear in the Halo games. Still, its a good choice when someone wants to decorate a planet in a few seconds or to brawl it out with the crap ships of the UNSC Navy.


There's a simple word to explain what a CCS looks like: a pear. Only its a purple pear that kills noobs with one shot of its shit launcher. Covenant use it to kill UNSC Frigate fleets to rid the galaxy of worthlessness. The Prophets think that they are a good choice as a personal ride, aka a Pimp Ship, yeah right. Just ask the Prophet who died on the Truth and Reconciliation how great of a ship it is. That's because the Master Thief likes to come aboard and t-bag the crew as the Covie Captain bitches to his lineage only to be killed and raped later on. The only defense a CCS has against boarders is the fact that it's a freaking maze of purple hallways filled with purple stuff that can get one so confused that his head caves in. The Covenant like to keep the CCS's bridge awfully close to the reactor which can be destroyed by a shot from a Salt Rifle. In Halo: Reach, the one at New Alex's-pants-dria, the beam coming down from it is the grunts piss. The redness is caused by Gruntiness.

Weapons and ShieldsEdit

Like every Covie ship you can't see the CCS's weapons on the outside. So the light beams are just coming outta nowhere. Still, prisoners aren't saying what the weapons are or the shield systems so we need to rely on a wild guess. We believe they're armed with:

  • Several Taco sauce flingers
  • Hot sauce cannon
  • Human and Covenant waste
  • Your mom's ass as a shield
  • Loudspeaker to bore enemies with boring plans for the complicated Covenant economy
  • Dual Nooblers

Gravity LiftEdit

CCS Cruisers have a shaft lift so lazy Brutes who won't get out of their lazy boy chairs don't have to get up to leave. The lift is the best way to kick unwanted assholes off the ship. Ironically, the Chief and some Marines use them to get in the ships all the time. Covenant found a way to prevent this, though. When some jerk is trying to use the lift, Grunts can throw rocks and Plasma Pistols down on him. The UNSC also found a way to counter this by throwing bombs up the lift to kill the crew. More CCSs have been destroyed this way than any other way. Aww how awful.

Known CCS class BattlecruisersEdit

  • Lies and Retardation
  • Constant Defecation
  • Bravery and Suicide
  • Roses and Lasers
  • Roar and Smash
  • The one destroyed at Earth
  • CCS #23685
  • The one from ODST
  • Immortal Cowardice
  • The other from ODST
  • Rock Paper Scissors
  • The Taco Bell Down the Street
  • Lesbian Lover

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