Bungie Studios
From Gruntipedia
Bungie Studios is an unstoppable global organization, with an evidently evil agenda only rivaling Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates, which can be realized when such outrageous actions, such as removing Godly power from the Pocket Lawn Chair are taken in to account. Due to previous plans all failing, Bungie currently have their seventh plan in motion for world domination, the Hula-hoop games series.
Contents |
[edit] World Domination
[edit] First Attempt
Gladly, their first plan was a total disaster when they recreated a game already 20 years old and sold it to back to the poor public in the 1990s. This was a time when Bungie hadn't quite yet grasped the concept of originality, and so the game was named Gnop, cleverly reversing the popular game title of Pong. Although their concept of originality is still questionable today. Bungie decided to make the game free for the sole reason that every time the ball hits anything, an enforcing voice will say "BUNGIE IS GREAT." Yet in some bizarre unexplained way, the game did prove popular enough among Mac gamers, so much that some fans were even willing to purchase the source code, which Bungie offered for $150 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 (USD).
[edit] Second Attempt
A two pronged attack:
- Minotaur: The Labyrinths of Crete
- Pathways into Darkness
Gruntipedia would like to remind its users that Bungie is in fact, awesome. For admitting this, we would all appreciate Recon Armor. Oh, and Flaming Helmets if you truly recognize our greatness. And info on Halo 4. You owe it to us. Or a game about Grunts. And Red vs. Blue action figures. And a personal copy of the Halo Bible. For every member.
[edit] Bungie's Army
Bungie has thousands of followers that worship Bungie in 7 ways:
- We play XBL until our thumbs and eyes bleed (our blood is our offering).
- We fantasise about Cortana.
- We make futile requests for Halo 4 with a few signitures from a fourm.
- We spend so much time playing Halo we go into a coma.
- We sacrifice a goat every time we play Halo.
- We cut off a toe every time Halo 3 doesn't work.
- We obsess over little trivial things like why 7 pops up so much, and why 343 Guilty Spark is such a dick.
- Become a n00b!!!! mawhahahah
[edit] 7 Step Plan for World Domination
| 1 | Create a series of games that are OK, but not great. | Complete |
| 2 | Acquire pickled bitch head. | Complete |
| 3 | Create really amazing game to launch Microsoft's Xbox. | Complete |
| 4 | Create fairly decent game to launch Microsoft's Xbox Live. | Complete |
| 5 | Acquire several tons of hate-mail regarding previous game. | Complete |
| 6 | Create another amazing game to launch Microsoft's enemy, Sony, into oblivion. | Complete |
| 7 | Acquire Gruntipedia, by any means necessary. | Failed, in progress |
[edit] Achievements Planned to Make Bungie a Better Bungie
| 1 | Create a addicting game to brainwash | Failed |
| 2 | Banhammer all noobs in Halo 3. | Failed Miserably |
| 3 | Find someone good enough to act as Master Chief in the upcoming movie. | Epic failed, Thats Like Saying You Can Find A New Chuck Norris |
| 4 | Give me Recon Helmet. | Failed |
| 5 | Don't screw up Halo Wars. | Bungie has failed to many times that they decided not to work on Halo Wars anymore. Ensemble Studios found the Halo Wars scripts near a garbage can. |
| 6 | Stop screwing up. | Please say complete |
