For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on that creepy guy from Myspace.
Brute Stalker

They stalk you so much, they make you play with them...

Brute Stalkers (they don't sound promising) are mental institution escapees who can turn invisible, remember, they are Brute Stalkers...


As I mentioned earlier (if you didn't read it before, I'm sorry you have brain damage), Brute Stalkers are Brutes who can turn invisible, the name Stalker doesn't sound too promising, that's probably because Brute Stalkers are Code Black Sex Offenders.

Covenant Arm'eeEdit

Since the Prophet of Down Syndrome kicked the Mouthtastrophes out of the Covenant, Brutes took their place, Stealth Elites were replaced with Brute Stalkers, like all Brutes, they fight with their nature, some Brutes go apeshit, some Brutes go kamikaze, they all have their different hobbies, Brute Stalkers enjoy breaking Privacy Law.

Brute helmet

They stalk you so much they impersonate you...

Brute Stalkers were homosexual freaks with 3D glasses (I guess it's some fucked technology since there is only one eye hole/lens) who would sneak up to their enemy, enabling invinsibility and bringing them into their White Vans.

After the Human-Covenant WarEdit

After the war, all the Brutes, Jackals, Grunts, Hunters and Mosquitoes had no purple home, the Brute Stalkers drove around the streets in their White Vans, hoping to find children, yeah, they are pedophiles. They are attracted to the scent of young boys. They are surprisingly intelligent, even though they are fucking retarded enough to break the law, as they have infiltrated your local candy shops and are currently posing as workers. If you suspect that there is one there do not, and I repeat do not enter their white windowless vans. That's right, It's about to get Penn State all up in that van, and you better watch out because your gonna get fucked by Jerry Sandusky. No, instead you should contact us here at Gruntipedia to handle the situation, not me personally I'm just helping out this funny-ass site by writing some comical shit, we are experts, we ARE 1337. We have the proper devices to subdue these terminator cyclopses who have dick-cheese constantly on their mind. Don't you dare go to those Halopedia fags looking for assistance. All they do is put nonsensical information about the Halo universe on their site and when some users try to write legit info, the admins jack themselves off and ban them. We share our completely legitimate information with everyone expanding their knowledge of the Halo world by enlightening them with eroti-I mean exotic details. If you are a pussy-lickin' n00b who doesn't want our help then go fuck yourself. We use child-scented dildos to lure these sexual predators away from their current victim. Please do not get these vile butt-fuckers confused with Brute-Chalkers, who contribute to society by handing teachers pieces of chalk. If they encounter a midget, they will take him and place him into their fuck bowl. a fuck bowl is a bowl that Brute Stalkers use to put objects into and constantly pound. Imagine it as a normal bowl that these beasts put anything that their dicks can't fit into and resort to fuck the entire object by thrusting their logs into the bowl. A very rare but dangerous event can occur in which two Brute Stalkers will encounter each other and fight for sexual dominance over a particular victim. If you are in the vicinity when this happens you are advised to GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE! This is no laughing matter, These unsavory obese creatures will wip out their salamis and continuously wack each other with them until one is unconscious the remaining Brute Stalker will then proceed to ejaculate on the face of his adversary and will take his large testicles and rub them in the cum puddle on his opponent. Brute Stalkers are usually found at the following locations:


Michael Jackson's house

White van in any parking lot


Local candy shop



Toys R Us



It is advised to stay away from these locations at ALL TIMES. Many n00bs have tried to sue a Brute Stalker on more than one occasion under the charge of buttfuckery without consent, but because they are n00bs and know shit just about anything, Brute Stalkers don't show up to court, they are then chased down by Dog the bounty hunter who, in turn gets violently molested by them and gets knocked the fuck out by one of their huge Gorilla handed punch. Once he wakes up he remembers nothing of his encounter with the booty warrior but is concerned of the scars surrounding his ass cheeks. Brute Stalkers do not eat any physical edible resource, instead they feed off the fear of their raped victims. Their weapon of choice is the penetrator from Saint's Row: The Third, they prefer not to use the one from the fourth installment which everybody can agreee with because no one gives two shits and a flying dick about that game.

Known Brute StalkersEdit

  • The Pedo Brute
  • Your mom
  • I lick your an'us
  • Fartarus
  • Tartarus
  • Pimparus
  • Musculus
  • Jiralhan'us
  • Pen'us


Brute Stalkers are fucking stalkers, they are fucking creeps, they have no lives, they have mental issues, they are pedophiles, they just go around raping everyone. LIKE ME.

The Covenant
Testicle Chins | Xenomorphs | The big fluffy ones | Mods
Rockeaters (Those huge bastards with big guns) | Gigantasaurus Neverappearus
Space Wasps | Sniper Turkeys (Spartan Turkeys) | The little cute ones

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