- Mmm...Ima guard your body so hard
- — Dumb Brute Bodyguard to John-117
Brute Bodyguards are the dumbasses that throw themselves in front enemy fire. They claim they are "serving their leaders", but really they just like getting shot. It turns them on in some sick twisted way. They are the shitty-ass replacements for the even shittier-ass Brute Honor Guards found in Halo 2.
These brutes are just like normal brutes, except they fail at fighting, they fail at aiming, they fail at planning, they fail at surviving, they fail at life, they fail at the universe, and they fail at shutting the fuck up already!
The Brute Bodyguard can often be found picking his nose, picking his ear, or picking his ass. These brutes just like picking in general. If they get really lucky, the Chieftain will let a guard pick the Chieftain's ass. Seriously, these brutes need to stop picking every hole they find.