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Cquote1Earth sucks dick, so I guess I'll live on Balaho with my Grunt posseCquote2
— A random human
Halopedia
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Balaho.

Balaho is the Grunt homeworld. It's atmosphere is made completely of farts which they breathe (which is why they wear those gas masks, they won't survive in a non-smelly ass planet). The planet has no ground, instead, the planet uses a solid essence of Gruntinessas it's surface. It is the birth place to many famous Grunts, for example, Flipyap, Kwarsh, this guy, that guy, Another cool ass fact about it is that it is the headquarters of the secret society known as Gruntipedia. Yet another Uber fact is The Prophet of Ignorance lives here. One more fact is that there is a common village idiot Grunt who says Why is our planet made of marijauna? Why am I the only one who doesn't know?

History Edit

Birth of BalahoEdit

It was born when God had an armwrestle with his roomate, and accidently took a shit. Being the party-goer he was, he was all like, "Yo, muthafucka! gimme a lighter". He then farted into the lighter and this created the sun for Balaho. But all of his farting meant he needed to take a dump, so then he satisfied his need to take a shit, then shitted out Balaho and it convienently had it's own gravitational pull around his fire fart. Then god said, "Aww fuck, I made ANOTHER planet, might as well put some life on it." so then he created the Grunt, Fapfap. Then came the other Grunts who were destined to evolve above the other species he put on there. (Hopefully someone will get the Family Guy reference in this paragraph)
Shit Just Got Real

Balaho about to meet it's demise...

EvolutionEdit

They evolved from some odd creature known as "Erickcartman", this creature was never seen on Earth but you can probably guess that it was fat, ugly and short. I don't really know what to say now because you already know that they conquered all of the other species on the planet, I don't know how because they're so fucking weak. They also had a very strong rivalry with the "CennyMicKornik" species. Also never seen on earth, you can probably tell they died often and were orange. (Anyone notice the south park references?) They evolved into Scrub Grubs.

Discover of GruntinessEdit

There was a Grunt scientist who was known as "Hukg" (don't ask me how to pronounce the name). He was born with different eyes than any other Grunt, for he could see the Aura of Gruntiness glowing around all of his fellow Unggoy while the others could not. He didn't know how describe it, but he put his best adjectives together, he said it was an "Uber Badass Ray of Awesome Righteousness". He then realized that if all the other Grunts had this, he had it too. He tried to make use out of it but epic failed each time, but then suddenly, he lost control of his own body, he was possesed by the God of Gruntiness. He grew 100 feet tall and was big as a muhfukka, all the other Grunts were terrified, but then the God of Gruntiness spoke through Hukg's body, "Do not be afraid, I am peace, I am salvation, and I am also your mother..." the Grunts then calmed down. "Gruntiness is a timeless chorus, Join your voice with mine and epicly pwn everyone forever!" the possession of the God then was lost, Hukg started to shrink back to normal size, Hukg then regained his control. Hukg then said, "What the fucking HELL JUST HAPPENED?!", and then he was informed by a random Grunt idiot that witnessed this. He then formed the theory of Gruntiness, and apparently everyone bought that shit. But the distant planet of Halopedia's leaders thought this was bullshit, which then started the Gruntipedia-Halopedia War AKA Badass's against Sluts in jomama. That's correct, Halopedia started a WAR because they didn't agree with the theory of a few awesome guys.

Gruntipedia-Halopedia WarEdit

A Grunt known as Simon rjh formed an elite (not to be confused with
Gruntipedian Soldiers

Gruntipedian Soldiers invading a Halopedian base.

Elite) military of super duper uber Grunts, this military faction was known as Gruntipedia. Gruntipedia had a major disadvantage due to the fact that there wasn't that many Grunts that wanted to fight, so they were outnumbered by Halopedia's forces. But little did Halopedia know that teh God of Gruntiness was on Gruntipedia's side. When Gruntipedia's colonies were lost and the last resort was Balaho, they thought all was lost. But, Simon rjh became possesed by the God, he then flew to the Halopedian army and yelled, "I WILL FEAST UPON YOUR BONES!", and threw a big ass energy ball of Gruntiness at the Halopedian army and epicly pwned them all in one hit. Halopedia, being the pussies they were, realized that shit just got real so they let Gruntipedia have their theory of Gruntiness. Victory was Gruntipedia's!

Gruntipedia's advantage was also inscreased because they had lots of Elites on their side. Grunts drink a lot of Saints Flow, which makes them Supaa- Excellent!

Known LocationsEdit

  • Baupomise (Balaho's equivalent to Soviet Russia)
  • Falujah (Not that place in Iraq)
  • Kyawamap (A beautiful beach with liquid Gruntiness, very good place to find magic fucking shits from Justin Boober.)
  • At least 3 known Starbucks- more may be present. 
  • Balaho National Resort and Waffle Emporium.
  • Liquid gruntiness core. Only known source of type fifteen diabetes in the multiverse.
  • Balaho Military Reserve (A place where Grunts hone in their gruntiness so they may crush Halopedia's ranks)
  • Museum of the epic grunts (A place where Grunts come to worship their Grunty leaders)
  • Balaho Benzene Manufacturing Facility (Every Grunt's favorite place)
  • Balaho Halopedian Pancake and Toast Emporium (A place where grunts may feast on the bones of Halopedians, all the while eating toast and pancakes)

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