For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Assault on the Control Room (Level).
The Assault on the Control Room is the fifth and longest level in Halo 1. It may be the longest, though, it doesn't feel long as the Library as it doesn't have as much isolation and disadvantages to make any player go to near insanity. Previously, Master Chief was near the Silent Cartographer (Building) trying find a map that leads to the control room of Halo. He was successful, killing tons of Covenant without hesitation or mercy. Now, he is killing more Covenant and now Wraiths to find the control room. After many deaths and empty magazines, Chief has found the Control Room.
Assault on the control room


The Chief started to climb a structure to get to the control room, where he was insulted, harassed and raped by Cortana. Cortana, who started to get even more info from the Halo thingy, is now horrified by the images of Forerunners' faces. Then, Cortana found out that the "weapon cache" that some interrogated Elite revealed to Keyes was actually a drug barn and, more importantly, held AIDS. Cortana urged Master Chief to try to stop Keyes before it's late, while she stays in the Halo database, watching alien porn and waits for MC to "return" for a "suprise."


Echo 419: " Good Luck "

Two Elites appear with Gruntiness

Master Chief:"K let me in !!!"

MC hops back in Pelican but dies when he reaches the bottom but the checkpiont saved while he was in Pelican epic failnbut after dying 666 times he restarted the level

I Would Have Been Your MotherfuckerEdit

The level sart with Grunt sniffing his WTF ?... um you might not want to know I didn't know someone would be such a dumbass as to hire a gay Grunt

Echo 419: *listening to 107.9*

Master Chief:"WOULD YOU TURN IT DOWN !!"

Angry Elites appear. Tthey are angry cuase the loud music reminds them they can't rap with four lips

Master Chief:"Meet me at the pyramid"

Echo 419:*Still listening to 107.9*

The Elites and Master Chief have a bar fight


After a while of fighting police arrives and when they see MC

Police:"We got you Vader !"

*tear gas fires*

Master Chief:"What the Fuck?"

*tear gas explodes* but don't worry the gas went through the breathing holes in MC's helmet so he is subdued then the polce takes him towards a room but got raped by invinsible Elites

Master Chief:"Great where am I ?"

If You Had Super GruntinesssEdit

MC walks towards an Elite

Master Chief:"Is the Banshee for sale"

Arbiter:"Umm no"

Naster Chief:"Can I have it?"

Arbiter:"I need it for protection"

Master Chief:"Dude we have infinite health"


MC hops in Banshee

Master Chief:"Nope cya noob"

Arbiter:"WTF?" *throw plasma grenade but miss as usual* "Great now he gonna bitch endlessly again"

Jackal:"Dude you drop this" *hand over the plasma grenade*

Arbiter:*screams in a girly voice*

meanwhile at the conrol room

Master Chief:"K Cortana here is the conrol room"

Cortana:"K I'm in wait .. Oh my"

Master Chief:"What?"

Cortana:"Go and get ODST so I can play the Reach beta !"

Master Chief:"Oh you got to b-"


So, the mister Chief does it not to get raped.

Levels of the Halo Series   Source
  Halo: Combat Evolved Campaign:   The Pillar of Autumn  |  Halo  |  The Truth and Reconciliation  |  The Silent Cartographer  |  Assault on the Control Room  |  343 Guilty Spark  |  The Library  |  Two Betrayals  |  Keyes  |  The Maw
  Halo: Combat Evolved Multiplayer:   Battle Creek  |  Blood Gulch  |  Boarding Action  |  Chill Out  |  Chiron TL-34  |  Damnation  |  Danger Canyon  |  Death Island  |  Derelict  |  Gephyrophobia  |  Hang 'Em High  |  Ice Fields  |  Infinity  |  Longest  |  Prisoner  |  Rat Race  |  Sidewinder  |  Timberland  |  Wizard
  Halo 2 Campaign:   The Heretic  |  The Armory  |  Cairo Station  |  Outskirts  |  Metropolis  |  The Arbiter  |  The Oracle  |  Delta Halo  |  Regret  |  Sacred Icon  |  Quarantine Zone  |  Gravemind  |  Uprising  |  High Charity  |  The Great Journey
  Halo 2 Multiplayer:   Ascension  |  Backwash  |  Beaver Creek  |  Burial Mounds  |  Coagulation  |  Colossus  |  Containment  |  Desolation  |  District  |  Elongation  |  Foundation  |  Gemini  |  Headlong  |  Ivory Tower  |  Lockout  |  Midship  |  Relic  |  Sanctuary  |  Terminal  |  Tombstone  |  Turf  |  Uplift  |  Warlock  |  Waterworks  |  Zanzibar
  Halo 3 Campaign:   Arrival  |  Sierra 117  |  Crow's Nest  |  Tsavo Highway  |  The Storm  |  Floodgate  |  The Ark  |  The Covenant  |  Cortana  |  Halo
  Halo 3 Multiplayer:   Assembly  |  Avalanche  |  Blackout  |  Citadel  |  Cold Storage  |  Construct  |  Epitaph (Epilogue)  |  Foundry  |  Ghost Town  |  Guardian  |  Heretic  |  High Ground  |  Isolation  |  Last Resort  |  Longshore  |  Narrows  |  Orbital  |  Rat's Nest  |  Sandbox  |  Sandtrap (Sand Tarp)  |  Snowbound (Boundless)  |  Standoff  |  The Pit (Pit Stop)  |  Valhalla
  Halo Wars Campaign:   Alpha Base  |  Relic Approach  |  Relic Interior  |  Arcadia City  |  Arcadia Outskirts  |  Dome of Light  |  Scarab  |  Anders' Signal  |  The Flood  |  Shield World  |  Cleansing  |  Repairs  |  Beachhead  |  Reactor  |  Escape
  Halo Wars Multiplayer:   Barrens  |  Beasley's Plateau  |  Blood Gulch  |  Blood River  |  Chasms  |  Crevice  |  Exile  |  Fort Deen  |  Frozen Valley  |  Glacial Ravine  |  Labyrinth  |  Memorial Basin  |  Pirth Outskirts  |  Release  |  Repository  |  Terminal Moraine  |  The Docks  |  Tundra
  Halo 3: ODST Campaign:   Prepare to Drop  |  Mombasa Streets  |  Tayari Plaza  |  Uplift Reserve  |  Kizingo Boulevard  |  ONI Alpha Site  |  NMPD HQ  |  Kikowani Station  |  Data Hive  |  Coastal Highway
  Halo 3: ODST Firefight:   Alpha Site  |  Chasm Ten  |  Crater  |  Last Exit  |  Lost Platoon  |  Rally Point  |  Security Zone  |  Windward
  Halo: Reach Campaign:   Noble Actual  |  Winter Contingency  |  ONI Sword Base  |  Nightfall  |  Tip of the Spear  |  Long Night of Solace  |  Exodus  |  New Alexandria  |  The Package  |  The Pillair of Autumn |  Lone Wolf
  Halo: Reach Multiplayer:   Anchor 9  |   Battle Canyon  |   Breakneck  |  Breakpoint  |  Boardwalk  |  Boneyard  |  Condemned  |  Countdown  |  Forge World  |   High Noon  |  Highlands  |   Penance  |  Powerhouse  |  Reflection |   Ridgeline  |  Spire  |   Solitary  |  Sword Base  |   Tempest  |   Zealot (Arena Zealot)
  Halo: Reach Firefight:   Beachhead  |  Corvette  |  Courtyard  |  Glacier  |  Holdout  |  Installation 04  |  Outpost  |  Overlook  |  Unearthed  |  Waterfront
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Campaign:   Prologue  |  Dawn  |  Requiem  |  Forerunner  |  Infinity  |  Reclaimer  |  Shutdown  |  Composer  |  Midnight  |  Epilogue
  Imposter version of Halo 4 Multiplayer:   Abandon  |  Adrift  |  Complex  |  Exile  |  Erosion  |  Haven  |  Harvest  |  Impact  |  Longbow  |  Meltdown  |  Pitfall  |  Ragnarok  |  Ravine  |  Shatter  |  Solace  |  Vertigo  |  Vortex  |  Wreckage
I'm not listing the Spartan Ops levels.

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